You know, waiting really wasn't that hard. Moving somewhere new and starting a new job are great ways to keep your mind off the biopsy you just had. My parents stayed three more days and helped me unpack. Not that I was much help - I was supposed to not even do light housework for a few days and of course went back to work the day after the biopsy. They then left on Saturday and that day two friends of mine came to the canyon. One from Denver and the other from Phoenix. We met in Flagstaff first and shopped for the back patio and had some sushi of course! We then spent Saturday and Sunday setting up the stuff we got plus hung up the pictures I collected for years on a sunflower wall. Once again I was no help - they didn't let me do anything. I was pretty sore but the hole was really cool. I was thinking that it was going to leave a way cool scar but alas I no long have that hole. It didn't even last two eeks before it was replaced with a much bigger hole. Anyway, I am skipping ahead in my story. My friends did an awesome job both on the backyard and keeping my mind off The Call. Monday came and it was back to work - no call. So, I called them - the on call nurse was very helpful and tracked down my chart for me. She called back no results yet - she said it wouldn't now be until Tuesday morning and that they would call me. Well, Tuesday morning and no call - so once again I called them. This nurse was also helpful and she tracked my chart to my doctor's desk. She said she would have it brought down and she would call me back within a couple of hours. i was really hoping to get the Call soon - I just wanted it all behind me so I could focus on other things. Seriously, I'm in good shape now, I'm fairly young, I'm a positive person, and yes while I may not eat my veggies what were the odds really that this was cancer? The whole thing had just been an eyerolling pain in the butt experience that made me make a mental note to eat less red meat. Deep down I just knew it was going to be a false alarm.
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That afternoon on 7/07/08 I got The Call. The moment I heard "Hi Linda. This is Doctor Carter" my brain just stopped and time came to a stand still. I swear there was a month between "Carter" and "Is this a good time to talk?" When he said the actual words "breast cancer" I was staring out my office window at the tops of the trees noticing how much the wind was picking up. When he said I had to I quickly find a general surgeon I popped up my company email to see if there was anything new. I'm not sure what all was said that afternoon - it wasn't a long call but it lasted an eternity. I know he asked a couple of times if I was still there and he was great in offering to call around to see who the good surgeons were in Flagstaff. I even think his voice cracked a couple of times. He's been my doctor a long time and he was my surgeon back in 98 when one of my ovaries was taken out. After I hung up I remember just sitting there listening to life going on normally around me - tourists in the hallway asking where Maswik Lodge was, big tour buses full of happy vacationers driving past my window, my phone ringing, staring at my hands. I knew I needed to move that I needed to start finding help but I don't know what I was thinking, maybe just maybe if I didn't move it wouldn't be real and if it wasn't real I would never ever have to make The Call to my parents............
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Well, of course, I had to start moving. First I took some big breaths, then I picked my head up and straightened my shoulders. Time started to move at a normal pace again. I slowly got up from my chair, took three more deep breaths, slowly walked across the office and closed my door I thought for some privacy but ended up closing it on my old normal life. I then picked up the phone.
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