Step Two

They were able to get me in for A Mammogram fairly quickly. It was Monday afternoon just a little over a week later. I had a lot to do and was pretty busy between the two and didn't really think about it, much. I also had a dentist appointment on the next Tuesday to have a wisdom tooth taken out - ouch! My boss was in town for some crossover before I left and my sister and her family were visiting (see pic of me and my favorite niece Hannah!) so had a great week with them. That weekend my brother-in-law Matt and sister Lori came with me on a road trip to move some stuff to the South Rim - we had a great time and they got to see my new house and meet some of my friends. I came back and did not have a bed or about anything else so stayed in a hotel in Springdale. Monday was the big going away BBQ - man that was fun, my Springdale friends are so fabulous! OK - enough avoiding the story I'm trying to tell. I went to The Mammogram on that Monday. I told them about the lump like the doctor had told me to but since it was not detailed on the referral they weren't going to look at it right away or take images of it. I got a little upset at that point and told them that I was moving in a few days and was not going to be able to come back. The ladies there were very nice and I happily waited while they tracked down the doctor and got the referral changed. We did The Mammogram which did not hurt half as much as some say and I took a seat. The lady who did The Mammogram ran the images right back to the doctor. While I was sitting there in my little hospital gown I saw them come out to talk to all sorts of ladies - smile at them - and say "it's just a cyst" you can get dressed now. The very very first sign of anything to come was when the lady came back out and told me to get dressed and that then another lady and I would go talk to the doctor. She talked in the softest of tones and had a look of resigned sympathy on her face. I wonder how many women she has used that tone with - what a hard job. I hope she is paid well. Anyway, we walked the long hallway back to a dark room. The doctor had my images up on a big display on the wall. I don't really remember what he was saying but I do remember the images. He showed me where the lump was and compared my left and right breasts. There was no doubt that something was there. He said there was no knowing what it was but that it was not a cyst and recommended a biopsy right away. The nice lady walked me back down the long hallway to her very bright white office. She offered to show me a video of what they were going to do but I said no. Seriously - I just didn't have time for this and I still figured it was going to be benign. How the heck was I going to fit in a biopsy in the next two days before moving?! This was Monday - I was planning on working until noon on Wednesday and then was going get into the car, pick up Maddie and drive to start Arizona and work on Thursday. Lucky me, apparently the only day they schedule biopsies is Tuesday - alright! "You haven't taken any blood thinners in the past week have you?" Oops - remember that wisdom tooth? I had taken blood thinners until Saturday with that stupid tooth gone. I told her that I had quit taken them on Thursday and she called a doctor on his day off to see if she could schedule a stereotactic biopsy for me with him on Wednesday. He said yes and it was going to work perfectly. Get off work at noon, biopsy appointment at 2pm, and on the road by 4om. Get me to the canyon not too much past dark. I was relieved that I could get this all behind me before I even hit Arizona. The nice lady walked me to the door with a stack of paperwork about what they were going to do to me. As she closed the door behind me she opened the door again and said "you do have insurance don't you, dear?" I said yes and she sighed and said "thank God".

A dear friend asked me early in this process what I was afraid of most. I said spiders.

Random thoughts - Funny I can't even say the word cancer anymore. I just call it "my news" or "I've got a health issue going on". I'm not that girl - cancer girl. I hate that people look at me or think of me as that girl. It feels wrong to have "something like this" going on while I'm feeling so healthy. It's hard to think of myself as "sick" when other than the holes poked into me by doctors I feel normal. I love the first few minutes in the morning when I wake up and see my surroundings - my first thought is "yea" I love this house and the sun is out and I'm excited for my day. Then I remember........ I love that I haven't incorporated "this" into my dreams yet - not that I plan to. I've started to read some of the cancer boards. There are some absolutely amazing beautiful bald women out there. I find them all so inspirational. And the humor they show in their pain - both mental and physical - is a beautiful thing. They have already reached out to me even though on a scale of one to ten - my prognosis and treatments are like a four and is easy compared to what they are or have gone through. Simply amazing. And then there are my friends and family - I am so so blessed to have their support through this.

Next time - the most barbaric thing I have ever been through, The Stereotactic Biopsy and wow I can't believe my good fortune of having a bathtub again!