“I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.” - John Muir
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Most of you know I love to hike, explore, and wander. If I'm out hiking somewhere new it's hard to get me to turn around and head home. I want to just look around the next bend, and the next bend, and the next bend; well you see how I am. There is always something new to see and experience. Who knows if I'll ever be this way again - I don't want to miss anything.
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I'm finding I don't have the same wanderlust with this cancer journey. I really would prefer to not see what's around the next bend and I couldn't care less if I miss anything. There have already been a few bends in this adventure - mammogram to biopsy to diagnosis to lumpectomy to port insertion to chemo. Seriously not a fun one in the bunch. Pretty soon I start yet a new bend - radiation. I'm tired /bored/uninterested of/with/in this cancer thing at this point. This Friday I have an appointment with my radiation oncologist and then a radiation simulation. I start the actual radiation on Monday. Then it's six weeks of daily trips to town for a total of three hours of driving every day. While I'm not looking forward to it I know I just have to get it over with. Barring any snow days and hoping they are open the day after Thanksgiving - I should be finished on December 30th. Then I'll be finally done and the Lord willing there will be no more cancer bends to dread. I can go back to my "let's just go see what's around that bend before we turn around" explorations. And I'll never look back.
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One good note - the snacks are better on the rads side than the chemo side of the cancer center.
1 comment:
Yeah, radiation sounds like a major drag. BUT AT LEAST IT’S NOT CHEMO!
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