Oncologist Visit

I finally stopped my boycott of all doctors on Wednesday. My tamoxifen prescription ran out and I had to make an appointment to get a new one. I had a good run though from the beginning of March until this week. I made it almost through the whole appointment before he gave me a hard time about the length of time between visits. I put my head down like I felt badly about it and promised it wouldn’t happen again. But between you and me, it was worth it! It has been a great doctor free spring and summer.


But I am now back in the medical fold. He suggested that I change from tamoxifen to an aromatase inhibitor (AI). He said that there is a better chance for survival on an AI for someone with my cancer history and since I had the hysterectomy and ovary removal. In an oversimplified nutshell – tamoxifen stops your body’s ability to use estrogen while AIs stop the body from making any estrogen. Of course ovaries are the main source of estrogen in a female body so women with their ovaries who have not gone through menopause cannot take them. But in the case of those of us without ovaries, the body also makes estrogen in other ways. Taking an AI will stop those other ways. My cancer was estrogen positive – meaning it fed and grew off of estrogen. So, if there is no estrogen, any cancer cells left in my body will not grow. OK – simple enough, I buy it. I tried to read the different studies concerning tamoxifen vs. aromatase inhibitors. One I read said that in women who have been on tamoxifen for two to three years and then switch to an AI, there is a 50% better long term survival rate. I don’t know who did the study, maybe it was the manufacturer of the AI I am going to be taking but I like the sound of that. Other studies show the opposite. So, it all boils down to my decision. Through it all I have always taken my doctor’s advice and I start taking letrozole on Monday.


The list of potential side effects is as long as the tamoxifen list and then some. I hope I do not have the hair thinning, the debilitating joint pain, the brain fog, or the sky high cholesterol that others complain of. I was worried about how much it was going to cost but it seems that there has been a generic version since last year. My pharmacist called today and said that it will only cost me $15 a month. Awesome! AIs do cause the body to lose bone density each year so I will have to go twice a year to have some sort of infusion to counteract the osteoporosis. I have my first one next week and I’ll find out more about it, I didn’t ask. My oncologist did say that I may feel achy like I have the flu for a few days afterwards. I can handle that. It is no chemo. I also go back in three months (I promised!) and we will discuss any side effects I am having and I can decide then whether I want to change back to tamoxifen again.


We also discussed how long I was going to continue to take medication. He had told me when I started on tamoxifen that it would only be for five years. I asked about the letrozole hoping it would be the same. He said that there have been some promising studies out of Europe showing that ten years is the most beneficial for both tamoxifen and AIs. He said we could discuss it again in three years.


So, I went to the doctor’s office this week thinking I had two years left of taking a medication which is causing me no bad side effects to seven years of taking a medication that could cause me all sorts of problems. See why I avoid doctors as much as I can?


But of course, if there is any chance that this new medication can give me a large chance of survival, I am obviously going to give it a try. And after spending too much time reading about the negative side effects, I’ve decided to not worry about them. Life is too short for worrying about something that may not happen. I’ll let you know………

Much Ado About Close to Nothing

Everything went just swimmingly yesterday. It was almost anticlimactic after all of my nervousness. My radiation oncologist says I am healing well and doesn't want to see me for another six months, my chemo oncologist wrote me a new tamoxifen prescription and doesn't want to see me for three months, and best of all everything looked good with the mammogram! Life is good!

It Is Finished

Well there was no big celebration to send me on my way. The nurse did do a "chemo is over" dance for me and made me join in. We also went out for a yummy lunch of seafood Mexican. And I was definitely not heart broken to be walking out of the chemo room for the last time (the radiation side of the building has better snacks). I do wish I could say I am super happy tonight but while I am glad to be finished, the heinous hiccups from hell are already here to make sure I know what is coming. I'll be super happy after the weekend - or soon after.

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The meeting with the oncologist went very well. I had perfect blood work yet again. He says he will be the the doctor I'll be seeing for the next five years. He put me on Tamoxifen starting tomorrow. I'll start the radiation treatments in three weeks. I can get the port out in three weeks also! And he used the word "cured".

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I was really worried about the cost of the Tamoxifen since I will be taking it daily for five years. We got the presciption filled today and with my insurance co-pay they are only $15 a month. Yippee!

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Did I mention I can get the port out in three weeks? And that my treatments should be finished by the end of the year? That my hair should start growing in four weeks? That I only have one more bad weekend ahead of me? That I can afford my meds? That despite all my misgivings wondering if I had the strength to get through it - that I had my last chemo treatment today!?!! OK - maybe I am super deliriously happy tonight! I at least feel pretty proud of myself. Tonight I feel like there is nothing I can't handle.

I Can't Sleep

Probably my own fault for going to bed too early. I'm lying here trying to be apathetic about the day. If I start thinking about it I get either really excited (hair!) or a little teary eyed (this weekend is going to really suck). I feel like there should be a big party or something after they yank the needle out but today is just the beginning of the end. I'll wait a few weeks for the party. I do wish that the end of chemo was the end of this adventure and I could just ride away into the sunset. I know it's going to be the hardest part of my cancer fight for me physically and hope it is the hardest part mentally. I have a bunch of questions for the oncologist this morning. Mainly - when can I start radiation, when can I have this stinkin port taken out, and when should I start taking Tamoxifen. I'm not even sure which doctor I'll be seeing in the long run. It's five in the morning out here and I can hear Dad out there starting a woodstove fire this morning. I know my parents are looking forward to the end of chemo as much as I am. Other than that first horrible weekend they have been here right next to me during the worst of it seeing me at my worst and maybe a little bit of me at my best. It could not have been easy for them and I appreciate it more than I could ever express. And thanks to all of you for all the uplifting emails and cards and prayers sent my way. Seriously this journey would be so so much harder without all of you with me. I hope I can make it up to all of you someday. Guess I should get up and give Dad some company. I do love a good fire. I hope all of you have a great day.