Wander Linda

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Sorry, It Has Been Awhile and I Missed My Yearly Cancerversary Blog

I let the four year anniversary of my cancer diagnosis go right by and didn't even think about writing my annual "thoughts on it all" blog. I had my sister's family visiting and the house was filled with giggles and love. I didn't even take a quick getaway trip by myself to reflect. The further I get from that time the more the memories fade and the fear that was so pervasive back then lessens. I do think often of those that helped me back then that are no longer with us and I follow the blogs of some that aren't going to win their fight. Every day I am appreciative that I am still cancer free but I have to admit I let the little things get to me more often than just last year. Maybe that is a good thing? It means that my life is back to normal? I hope not, one of the great things that came out of my cancer fight is learning first hand how no matter how bad every day life gets, it is still all good as long as my, my family's, and my friend's health is good. Every day is a blessing if we are all well. I do still have some chemo side effect issues and some problems with letrozole but I'll detail those in a different blog. I've had a bunch of blood tests run, visited the Mayo Clinic, and an seeing a cardiologist but all tests are coming back cancer free! Two friends of mine had their own breast cancer fights this past year. They are doing well. Life continues on and we are at another presidential election, I missed the last one while being in chemo treatment and am looking forward to voting this time around. I hope to add another dog to the family soon and have pictures from a couple of vacations to post on here. Here's to a year of no "you have cancer" phone calls!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Cancer Is Not A Battle We Win or Lose

This was posted by my favorite blogger "breast cancer? but doctor...I hate pink"

Amazing words from Dr Erica D. Bernstein that mean so much today.

"Cancer is not a battle that we win or lose. It is not our fault or a sign of weakness. We are not responsible for our cancer outcomes. The crapshoot of cancer and recurrence can NOT be controlled. Celebrate yourself for each time you, despite all the trauma of cancer, treatment, and the mindf*** of "survivorship", choose to love, live, lust, laugh... We are not a success story based on our cancer progression or not. We succeed when we are courageous enough to keep walking forward even with missing parts, severe pain, addled brains, and broken hearts."

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Struggling with My New Normal

I keep hoping I'll get back to my old physical self when I could hike forever and not slow down. Where I was only limited by my fear of heights on what canyons I could go down. Six or seven hours of sleep was more than sufficient and I wasn't in constant pain. I'm not sure if it will ever happen now. I struggle with not getting too down on myself. I still have so much pain that it is so hard to do the work needed to get closer to what I was. I am trying though and not long ago we took a canyoneering class in Utah. I wanted to see if I was even capable of doing rappelling again. It was a GREAT day and it did give me hope that I will be able to once again travel down the canyons I love. Maybe not as well or as long or as far as I used to but my joy will be the same. Here are a few pictures from our class.

Nice having my old helmet on again

I can still set up an anchor

Hoping my hands are strong enough for this

It was a beautiful day! Life is good

Love this picture! I look happy

This is fun!

I'm still smiling

Heading back to the car. Sore, excited, happy, and tired. Maybe I can do this!

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Life Traveler

Monday, March 19, 2012

Mule Trip to Phantom Ranch

Last weekend I was lucky enough to take a mule trip to Phantom Ranch with my parents. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done but also one of my favorite things. I will remember it forever. We stayed in one of the cabins for two nights and rode out again. We had beautiful weather and a wonderful time.

Getting ready

Mom meets Marcy

It was a beautiful morning

Still some ice and snow on the trail in the shady areas

There were more switchbacks on the way down and back than we could count

A well deserved break at Indian Garden

Dad and Mona

Chalula and I

Back in the saddle

Down to the Colorado River!

Crossing the Black Bridge

The rest of our mule train

We made it!

Our home for two nights

Chalula enjoying her day off

The bottom of the Grand Canyon is beautiful

Silver Bridge

Bright Angel Creek

Quiet morning at the Ranch

Hiking on the North Kaibab Trail

More of the North Kaibab Trail

Starting out to the rim

Dad and Mona on Black Bridge

Our mule train

Can't beat the views

Best picture of the whole trip

More unbeatable views

We came up that?

Another view back the way we came.

Camera battery died at this point but other than a few sore muscles, we made it out just great. Happy Birthday Mom and Dad! Can't wait until we do a Colorado River trip for your 80th!